Recovery from pornography addiction is a deeply personal journey that requires courage, vulnerability, and commitment. One critical step in this process is disclosure—the act of sharing your struggles and history with others, especially with loved ones. While disclosure can be intimidating, it is a cornerstone of building trust and laying a foundation for genuine healing. Following the guidelines from Patrick Carnes (2015) can help you navigate this process with intention and care.

Understanding the Importance of Disclosure
Disclosure is more than simply revealing details about your addiction. It is an essential step in moving towards authentic relationships and recovery. For many individuals, secrecy and deception have been intertwined with addiction, damaging trust and connection. Open and honest disclosure allows for the rebuilding of trust and the creation of a supportive environment for healing. Carnes emphasizes that while this step is challenging, it is necessary for long-term recovery (Carnes, 2015).

Feeling Solid and Supported
Before beginning the disclosure process, it is crucial to get grounded. Recovery is not a solitary journey; having a network of support—whether through a therapist, recovery groups, or trusted friends—is essential. Carnes (2015) advises, “Always make sure you are feeling solid and supported. You do not have to do this alone” (p. 156).

Support networks can provide encouragement, perspective, and resilience, helping you to approach disclosure with clarity and strength. The SABR program emphasizes the importance of building this foundation of support, ensuring individuals are emotionally and mentally prepared for the challenges of recovery.

Therapeutic Guidance Is Key
Difficult conversations about addiction are best navigated with professional guidance. A trusted therapist can provide a safe and structured environment for disclosure, helping you articulate your experiences and emotions clearly. Carnes (2015) underscores this, stating, “Difficult disclosure is best done with a therapist you trust” (p. 156).

Therapists not only facilitate the conversation but also help manage the strong emotions that disclosure can elicit in both you and your loved ones. For spouses or family members, these moments can bring feelings of hurt, betrayal, or anger. Professional support ensures that these emotions are acknowledged and processed constructively.

Clarity and Preparation
Preparing for disclosure involves more than deciding what to say. It also requires clarity about your goals and boundaries. Carnes (2015) advises, “Be clear about what you wish to disclose” (p. 156). Writing down your thoughts beforehand or discussing them with your therapist can help organize your message, making the conversation more effective and less overwhelming.

Additionally, ensuring the person you disclose to has support and some understanding of addiction can foster a more productive discussion. Carnes highlights, “Disclosure works best when the person you are disclosing to also has support and at least a working knowledge of what sex addiction is” (p. 156).

Building a Foundation for Healing
Disclosure is not a one-time event but a process that contributes to the larger framework of recovery. By addressing the secrecy and shame often associated with addiction, disclosure fosters accountability and creates space for healthier, more transparent relationships. The SABR program supports this holistic approach, emphasizing education, emotional resilience, and the integration of recovery principles into daily life.

Conclusion
Preparing for disclosure is a pivotal step in pornography addiction recovery. By following Patrick Carnes’ guidelines, individuals can approach this process with thoughtfulness, support, and professionalism. Remember, recovery is about progress, not perfection. With the right tools and guidance, disclosure can lead to profound healing and restored relationships.

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults, and Valor groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.

References

Carnes, P. (2015). Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery (3rd ed.). Gentle Path Press.