*The name and identifying information in this article have been changed to protect the privacy and identity of the individual and his story.

My name is Josh, and I’m 22 years old. I’m a senior in college now, but for most of my time on campus, I was secretly struggling with sexual addiction. It started in high school with what seemed like harmless curiosity about pornography, but by the time I reached college, it had become something much bigger—something I couldn’t control. I felt trapped, ashamed, and like I was living a double life. On the outside, I was doing well academically, hanging out with friends, and enjoying campus life, but inside, I was dealing with a battle no one knew about.

Then, I found the Valor group through the Family Strategies Counseling Center, and it completely changed my life. I want to share the three most important lessons I learned from the program and how they helped me overcome the addiction that had weighed me down for so long.

One of the first things I learned in Valor was the importance of community. On a college campus, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd, and it can feel like everyone around you has it all together. I spent years thinking I was the only one struggling with something like this. I’d go to class, hang out with my friends, and put on a brave face, but deep down, I felt completely isolated.

Valor was the first place where I felt like I wasn’t alone. The group gave me a community of guys who understood exactly what I was going through. They weren’t there to judge me—they were there to support me. Even though most of my new friends on campus had no idea I was struggling with addiction, having the support of my Valor group gave me the strength I needed to start opening up, even if it was just in small ways. Knowing I had people who had my back, even if I didn’t share all the details with everyone, made me feel less alone and more hopeful. The community gave me a sense of belonging that made all the difference in my recovery.

Before joining Valor, I carried a lot of shame about my addiction. I thought it meant there was something fundamentally wrong with me. That shame was like a heavy weight that kept me from reaching out for help. It kept me locked in a cycle of feeling bad about myself, turning back to the addiction for comfort, and then feeling even worse afterward.

In Valor, I learned that shame is one of the biggest enemies of recovery. One of the group leaders told me something that really stuck with me: “Your mistakes don’t define you, but how you respond to them does.” That changed everything for me. I realized I didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of recovery. The guys in my group helped me understand that we all mess up sometimes, but what matters is that we keep moving forward. I began to let go of the shame and focus on healing instead.

The third major lesson I learned in Valor was that recovery wasn’t just about stopping a bad behavior; it was about building a new foundation for my life. In the past, I thought of sexual addiction as something I needed to “fix” and move on from. But Valor taught me that real recovery meant creating a life that was full of purpose, connection, and meaning.

Through the program, I started to think more about who I wanted to be, both in college and beyond. I got involved in more campus activities, I focused on building healthy relationships, and I made sure my life wasn’t defined by just avoiding bad habits. Valor gave me the tools to rebuild my identity from the ground up. Slowly but surely, the addiction began to lose its grip on me because my life became about so much more than just my struggles.

Today, I can honestly say that I’m free from the addiction that once dominated my life. It wasn’t an easy journey, and there were setbacks along the way, but the lessons I learned in Valor helped me find a way forward. Community, breaking the cycle of shame, and building a new foundation—these were the keys to my recovery, and they can be the keys to yours, too.

If you’re struggling right now, I want you to know that there is hope. You don’t have to do this alone, and you can break free. Finding a supportive community and learning to believe in yourself again can change everything.

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults and Valor Groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.