*The name of this individual has been removed to protect his privacy.

For most of my life, I thought being close to Jesus was about having a deep, personal relationship with Him. That’s what my church emphasized, and I genuinely wanted that connection. But my addiction to pornography created an endless cycle of sin, guilt, and distance. I’d fall into temptation, feel too ashamed to approach Jesus, and then try harder to clean myself up, only to fail again.

This pattern made me feel like I was spinning my wheels, never truly able to grow spiritually. I wondered if I’d ever be able to break free. But through the SABR program, I not only found tools for recovery but also discovered missing pieces of my spiritual life. It changed me in ways I never thought possible.

Looking back, I can see how much of my struggle was tied to my past. I grew up without a father, which left a deep void in my life. When my church talked about God as a loving Father, I wanted to believe it—but it felt abstract and distant. My addiction only reinforced those feelings of abandonment.

I often thought, If God is really there for me, why can’t I stop this? My prayers felt unanswered, and I couldn’t reconcile my weakness with the idea of a loving, present God. I tried harder to fix myself, hoping that if I could just stop sinning, I’d finally feel close to Him. But that approach only made things worse.

Joining SABR was a leap of faith for me. I wasn’t sure how talking about my struggles with other men or learning recovery concepts would fix what felt like a spiritual problem. But what I found was nothing short of life-changing.

SABR didn’t just teach me how to overcome pornography—it helped me understand myself. I learned to identify the wounds from my past and how they fueled my addiction. The program gave me tools to set boundaries, build accountability, and work through my emotions in healthy ways.

Spiritually, SABR filled in gaps I didn’t even realize were there. For the first time, I understood that God wasn’t asking me to be perfect; He was asking me to be humble enough to seek help. I realized He wasn’t abandoning me—He was allowing me to struggle so I could grow.

Through this journey, I’ve discovered aspects of myself that I had buried for years. I see now that God used my addiction to teach me lessons I couldn’t have learned any other way. I’ve grown in ways that have not only helped me overcome pornography but have also made me a better husband and a stronger man of faith.

My relationship with Jesus is deeper and more authentic than it’s ever been. Instead of feeling distant, I feel His presence guiding me daily. I’ve learned to trust Him as my Father, filling the void I’ve felt since childhood.

Today, I’m living with a renewed sense of purpose. My marriage is stronger because I’m finally showing up as the husband God called me to be. The tools I’ve learned in SABR aren’t just helping me stay free from addiction—they’re helping me become the man I was created to be.

If you’re struggling, I want you to know there’s hope. God isn’t asking you to do this alone. He’s ready to meet you in your weakness and walk with you toward freedom, just as He did for me.

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults and Valor Groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.