*The name and identifying information in this blog article have been changed to protect the privacy and identity of the individual.

My name is Alex, and I'm 35 years old. If you had told me five years ago that I would be where I am today—free from the grips of sexual addiction—I would have never believed you. My addiction to pornography consumed my life for over a decade, leaving me feeling isolated, ashamed, and out of control. But today, I stand here as someone who has overcome that darkness, thanks to the help I received through the SABR program.

I want to share three principles that made all the difference for me in my recovery journey, with the hope that my story will inspire others who are struggling to believe that change is possible.

1. Accountability is Key

One of the first things I learned at SABR was the importance of accountability. For years, I battled my addiction in secret, convinced that I could handle it on my own. But the truth was, secrecy only fueled my addiction. At SABR, I was introduced to the concept of accountability partners. These were people who didn’t judge me, but were committed to walking alongside me in my recovery journey. They helped me set boundaries, provided support during tough moments, and were there to hold me responsible for the commitments I made to myself.

It wasn’t easy at first—I had to be vulnerable, to admit my weaknesses. But in doing so, I found a strength I never knew existed. Accountability helped me break the cycle of isolation and shame that fed my addiction for so long. It showed me that recovery wasn’t something I had to face alone, and that was incredibly empowering.

2. Healing the Underlying Wounds

Another breakthrough moment for me was when I learned to look beyond the behavior itself and address the underlying issues driving my addiction. At SABR, I worked with therapists who helped me uncover deep emotional wounds and unresolved pain from my past that I had been numbing with pornography. The addiction wasn’t just about sexual behavior—it was about using that behavior to cope with stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy.

Through counseling, I learned healthier ways to deal with my emotions. I discovered that recovery wasn’t just about stopping a bad habit; it was about healing the wounds that led me there in the first place. This was a tough, painful process, but it was also the most freeing experience of my life. I began to see that I wasn’t broken beyond repair—I was a man in need of healing, and I had the power to pursue that healing with the right tools.

3. Building a New Identity

One of the most profound things I learned at SABR was that recovery meant building a new identity. For years, I had let my addiction define me. I believed I was a failure, unworthy of love and incapable of change. But the counselors at SABR helped me see that this wasn’t true. They helped me understand that I am more than my past mistakes.

They taught me to cultivate new habits and focus on the person I wanted to become—a man of integrity, strength, and purpose. Slowly, I began to replace destructive behaviors with positive ones, filling my life with activities and relationships that brought me joy and fulfillment. The more I embraced this new identity, the less hold my addiction had over me. I wasn’t fighting against something anymore—I was fighting for the life I wanted to live.

Today, I am free from the addiction that once controlled my life. There are still moments of struggle, but I now have the tools and the support I need to stay on the path of recovery. The principles I learned at SABR—accountability, emotional healing, and building a new identity—have transformed my life in ways I never thought possible. If you are reading this and feel hopeless, like I once did, I want you to know that recovery is possible. You are not alone, and with the right support, you can overcome this too.

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults and Valor Groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.