Dear Son,

I want to have an important conversation with you about something I wish I had understood better when I was your age—pornography. I know it's not always easy to talk about, but it's really important, and I want you to hear this from me.

When I was a teenager, I struggled with pornography. At first, it seemed like no big deal, like something everyone else was doing. But over time, I realized how much it was affecting me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s something that started small but eventually took a toll on how I viewed relationships, women, and even myself.

Pornography doesn’t show you what real love or connection is. Instead, it distorts romantic ideas and turns people, especially women, into objects. It makes relationships seem more about physical desires and less about the emotional connection, respect, and trust that are so important. The more you engage with it, the more your mind starts to expect things that aren’t real, and when you do find someone you care about, it can make forming a healthy relationship much harder.

For me, it wasn’t just about how I saw relationships; it also messed with my self-esteem. I felt ashamed and disconnected. Over time, I began to feel unhappy, even though I didn’t understand why. I lost confidence in myself and, for a long time, felt stuck in a cycle of guilt and isolation. It’s something that I wish I had talked to someone about sooner.

That’s why I’m writing this to you now. I don’t want you to go through what I did. You’re growing up, and it’s natural to have questions and curiosity. But I want you to know that you don’t have to handle those struggles alone. If you ever feel tempted to look at pornography or just want to talk about anything you're feeling, I want you to come to me. There’s no shame in having those feelings, and I’m here to support you, not to judge you.

Son, real love and relationships are so much more than what pornography shows. They are about trust, respect, and caring for someone beyond the physical. I want you to experience those things in your life and not let something like porn take away from the beauty of real connection.

Please don’t hesitate to come to me anytime you feel tempted or just want to talk. I’m always here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone, and I want to help you avoid the pain and confusion I felt when I was your age.

With love,
Dad

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults and Valor Groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.