Partners of sex addicts often describe the discovery of betrayal as a traumatic event. Research highlights that relational traumas, often called attachment injuries, occur when one person betrays, abandons, or refuses to provide support for another with whom they have developed an attachment bond (Steffens & Means, 2009, p. 11). The secrecy and deception surrounding sexual addiction exacerbate the pain, leaving betrayed partners feeling confused, isolated, and emotionally unsafe. Without full disclosure, partners may continue to experience obsessive thinking, difficulty trusting, and ongoing emotional distress (Corley & Schneider, 2012).

Why Full Disclosure Matters

While hearing the full truth can be painful, many partners express that receiving an honest and complete disclosure is a critical step in their healing. Research found that 96% of individuals struggling with addiction and 93% of betrayed partners believed that full disclosure was the right decision in their recovery journey (Schneider et al., 1998). This highlights the importance of transparency in rebuilding trust and providing betrayed partners with validation for their experiences.

The Healing Power of Truth

A well-structured disclosure process, guided by therapists, helps mitigate additional trauma by ensuring the session is conducted in a supportive environment. Betrayed partners often experience:

• Validation – Hearing the truth confirms their suspicions and alleviates self-doubt.
• Empowerment – Full disclosure provides them with the knowledge needed to establish boundaries and make informed decisions.
• Emotional Relief – While painful, knowing the full extent of the betrayal allows them to process emotions rather than remaining in uncertainty.

Moving Forward After Intimate Betrayal

Healing from intimate betrayal is a complex journey, but full disclosure is a key step in the process. When handled with professional guidance, it provides both partners with the clarity and foundation needed to move forward—whether that means rebuilding the relationship or seeking personal healing.

Family Strategies Counseling Center has actively serviced clients since 2000 in treatment for pornography addiction or sexually compulsive behavior. Our SABR program for adults and Valor Groups for young men can help you! Give us a call at (800) 614-8142 or visit our website for more information: Family Strategies Counseling Center.

References

Corley, M. D., & Schneider, J. P. (2012). Disclosing secrets: An addict’s guide for when, to whom, and how much to reveal. Recovery Resource Press.

Schneider, J. P., Corley, M. D., & Irons, R. K. (1998). Surviving disclosure of infidelity: Results of an international survey of 164 recovering sex addicts and partners. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention, 5(3), 189-217.

Steffens, B., & Means, M. (2009). Your sexually addicted spouse: How partners can cope and heal. New Horizon Press.